Even though I have been dealing with depressoin for years and I havebotten better, I have my bad days. Last weekend I had a very bad day. My older daughter was having problems and calling on me for advice. Now when my children are troubled, I get stressed. This all started Friday night. So needless to say, I didn’t sleep well. All week I had planned on going to a Celtic Fest in my area on Saturday. When I woke up on Saturday, I was determined to stay in bed all day. This is the start of my bad days. When I wake up and the thought of actually interacting with anyone makes me cringe, the voices start saying it would be better just to stay in bed, I know it’s a bad day. When my younger daughter woke up I mentioned to her that I was going to go to the fest but now I didn’t think I was going to go. She knows how I struggle, so she immediately said, “Go! You need to go. If you wanted to go, you’re going to go.” So I got my sorry ass out of bed, showered, actually put on make-up, got dressed and went to the fest. Once there, I had a good time, heard so good Irish musicians, saw some good Irish dancers, saw some good exhibits. When I got home, I did some chores that needed doing, so my day was not a total waste. That night I had a dinner date that went very well too.
But this is one of the ways I fight. My daughter holds me accountable and she knows that sometimes she needs to be tough on me. She knows how bad it can get. She has seen me at the worst, when I only went to work and went to bed for months with grief. At that time she didn’t understand why I was in this state and it hurt her. She is my motivator. When you are fighting, you need someone as an ally. Someone to help you fight. Someone to quiet the voices.
My advice to any and all who are fighting, recruit a motivator. It has to be someone you would never get mad at for pushing you to do something. If you have kids old enough to understand what you are fighting, recruit them. If your spouse/partner is someone who can be convincing, recruit them. Your best friend who wants you to get out for a girls’ night…don’t argue with them they have your best interest at heart. These people love you and want you to find yourself again.
No matter what…Never, Never, Never Give Up or Give In. FIGHT