It’s been a few weeks since I posted and I am sorry about that. My oldest daughter has been going through some personal issues and it is going against everything I wished for her. I have control issues and I know it. I am trying to deal with it. But also as a parent, you want better for your kids…or you should in my opinion. But I cannot follow her train of thought anymore. It’s not just me who is concerned either. Her best friends have confided in me some of their concerns.
As a little kid, I never thought I would need to worry about her. She is super smart, cute, funny…but something happened between freshman year of high school and now that totally turned her around. She never would miss school and grades were all important. Now she failed every class last term in school and was kicked out. She stopped going to class. She wanted to be a teacher, but you need a degree for that. She came up with a goal of being a dog groomer. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being a dog groomer, but most are only part-time with no benefits. How is she going to support herself? I am of the belief that no woman should be dependent on a man for all of her support. Also, this girl is all of 96 pounds. How is she going to handle 100+ pound animals??
Anyway, I have taken a step back from the situation because it was causing me a great deal of stress. I called her father in to help with the situation and to talk to her. As a mom, I feel horrible because I want nothing but good for my kids. I don’t want them to struggle, but it’s time for tough love and for me to take care of me. It goes against everything in me, to put myself first. I just don’t do that. But my daughter is 21 years old and should take responsiblity for her decisions and actions.
My friends know how that is hurting me, so they are very supportive, which is so very important when dealing with depression. You need a support system. You can’t have people who tell you to just suck it up, so to speak, or to “let it go”, “move on.”
Ok, my friends, I promise to post more often. I continue to fight the darkness.